* You've considered Omaha as a possible vacation spot
* You've given yourself whiplash while rocking out to any song of theirs
* You've wanted to get yourself a '69 Lincoln (with suicide doors)
* You get excited when the time is 3:11 or 8:16
* You have at least one pet with one of the following names: Nick, Tim, SA, Chad, P-Nut, Hexum, Mahoney, Doug, Sexton, Wills, or Aaron.
* You used to check the mail for "In Your Face"
* You watch for 311 license plates, addresses and phone numbers
* Your answer to adversity is "fuck the naysayers"
* You knew of Incubus, No Doubt, Deftones, Hoobastank, the Black Eyed Peas, NOFX, and Korn probably before most of their "fans" did
* You know who Bobby was
* You know what the following mean: ETSD, FTBS, WGTH, BTGS, CUTM, SJRTR, WDYD, DLMD, DTOM, TAAEWYNO, IGOKN & LNAR.
* You've affectionately called someone "Star"
* You've told the real story behind the bands name
* When you buy a 5-string, just because p-nut has one
* You know who Saint, Pat, Joan, Peter and Adam are
* 311 Day is a bigger holiday than your birthday
* You think it's fate when your total purchase comes to $3.11
* You've practiced your SA moves in secret
* You're both excited and sad when Nick says "there comes a point in the evening..."
* You can match 'Led Zeppelin', 'Sugar High', and a Lakers jersey to the right guys
* You've got a strong aversion towards "friendly to the radio" music
* You know who's West side and who's South side
* You've watched ETSD & ETSD2 a billion times
* You've made special mixed CD's for each of your friends in subtle attempts to convert them
* You've met some of your favorite people on BB or at a show
* Your favorite parts of 50 First Dates were appearances by 'Amber' and 'Rub-a-Dub'
* Any car ride is a party with all of the albums
* You have pictures so old that Chad and Nick have long hair and Tim is tat-free
* You've attempted the 311 Milk Challenge
* You're savvy enough to catch "mistakes" in the live shows but loyal enough to keep them to yourself
* You shaved your hair and bleached it platinum blonde sometime between 1995 and 2000
* You've scolded someone who's shrugged off 311's music and are tired of the very old and stupid rumor people still talk about
* You've searched for or found The Hive
* You've traveled out of state to see them
* It's been a goal to learn every lyric
* You know who Jim Watson and Ward Bones are
* You've cried or felt like crying listening to Beyond the Gray Sky
* Any of the bandmembers recognize you from a previous encounter
* You know who's got the herb
* You know the real words are "check the technique" not "check, check"
* You can shout "P-Nut, beat that thang!" with a straight face
* You're goal is to conquer three hundred and eleven shows
* Your life philosophy includes the ideals of unity, positivity, and "millenium niceness."
* You remind yourself that, "life's not a race" to "take care of yourself and someone else," and to "stay positive and love your life"
* You cringe when non-hardcore 311 fans say they love "Down" or "Amber" (even though you do too)
* You've been truly inspired to hear music differently or even learn to play
* You love them so much it hurts sometimes
* You're torn between wanting them to stay out of the mainstream and wanting everyone to like them
* You know you are a hardcore 311 fan if everyone else knows you are too
* example: being known as 311 Girl or 311 Boy
* You broke up with a girl or guy because they didn't like 311
* You keep burned copies of the albums in your car so the originals won't be damaged
* You noticed the 311 poster in the movie 'Fight Club'
* You cannot name a single favorite song
* You know who Jake and Emily are
* You get mad goosebumps when hearing certain parts of songs, even though you've heard them hundreds of times
* You have a cd case designated for only your 311 albums and live stuff you have found online
* when you see a crappy car and say "that's an awesome car!" only because it has a 311 sticker on it
* You mark your calendar and stay up super late to catch them anytime they are on t.v.
* You listen to your other music only because you feel bad for abandoning it.
* You see someone at a random place wearing a 311 shirt, and you want to just give them a big hug.
* You say or think something negative and automatically scold yourself because you feel nick would be disappointed in you for not being positive
* Everyone who knows you feels obligated to tell you they saw 311 on TV.
* Someone pronounces it three-one-one and you almost puke
* You do not dance, can not dance, would not dance... Unless you're at a 311 concert up in the stands because you couldn't get a floor ticket -- and you dance like your life depends on it, and don't give a f*ck what the naysayers think.
* You're in a dark hallway with a girl and you feel the need to kiss her.
* You feel sorry for those who don't know the splender that is *311*
* You know you are a hardcore 311 fan if this almost made you cry
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